I have been going through a whirlwind of emotions ever since the first week of January of this year. It has been very difficult and most days are filled with moments of tears and with such profound sadness and emptiness that I can not even begin to explain. It’s been a long ten weeks or so and sometimes it feels like it was yesterday and at other times it feels as if it was so long ago. In all of the tears and sadness my spirituality has kept me grounded. If it was not for my faith I honestly would not be able to have the few moments of goodness. I was told to look for smiles and smiling faces in everything that I do and this week I learned to do just that and that’s when a smelly skunk made me smile.
A few nights ago I was having a major crying moment, I’m not a crier at all unless I’m all alone. This week has been perfect for that because I was at the house alone with just a dog as my companion. During my crying session I felt as if I had some things to get off my chest and that I should go and have a talk with God and also whisper some things to my brother who is no longer with us. It was a beautiful clear Canadian night with lots of stars and very few clouds. The air was cool and as it was a bit later at night everything was quiet and still. The house was surrounded by huge pine trees that still had snow flakes which made the night perfect. It was a beautiful scenery which made it a very spiritual environment for me.
I stepped out into the back yard with the old german shepherd dog following closely behind me and I sat on the step and just started to cry. I had many things to say but not a sound came out from my mouth, only the tears streamed down my face, everything I needed to say was in my heart but God knew everything. I stood out there in the cold allowing the cool breeze to calm my spirit. As I cried I honestly felt my soul being washed and I didn’t fight it, I just stayed there until I felt a sense of renewed spirit. Although I was crying, I was not really sad, I was simply lonely for a life that I felt was taken away from me way too soon. After I had my spiritual moment and my tear filled talk with God, I looked up at the sky to see the stars and decided to talk to my brother. I told him I loved him and that I missed him very much and that he was the best brother that a girl like me could ask for. It was during this big moment in my life that the dog started to whimper and I ignored him. I continued to talk to my brother but then the dog started to bark. Breaking from my wonderful moment for a break second I looked and saw that the dog was barking at a skunk that was heading right towards us……
My spiritual moment was quickly over as I ran followed by the dog as I shouted “What the hell?” as we both headed for the door. As I began to panic I couldn’t remember if I should push or pull on the door to open it. After a few tries I got the door to open right in time as the dog rushed passed me into the house. As I quickly closed the door I was laughing so hard that I could not control myself. I looked at the dog and I am sure that he must have thought that something was wrong with me. I laughed again.
That night as I went to bed there was a smile on my face, not tears. I realized that I had made the right choice in choosing to see the beauty that the skunk brought to me. It was a smiling face, not the sad and lonely face that I had earlier. God answers our prayers and speaks to us in many different ways but we simply have to open our hearts to see his answers and hear his voice. Our loved ones may no longer be with us here physically but I do believe that God sends his other precious creatures to comfort us. Next time you see a skunk don’t frown….. just run…… run and then smile.