Asking for help is not one of my strong traits, and yes it took a lot for me to admit that. While many may see it as being obnoxious or simply outright foolish for many years I had many valid reasons for my belief. I knew what it felt like when others treated me as a burden, an extra load, something that made life uneasy for them. Being from an immigrant family, society reminded us daily that we were “a burden” on the system. Health care, education, law enforcement and even churches reminded us daily that while they were rendering services to us, that it was all extra, that they went out of their way to do this. In all of this I did what I thought was best even though I was barely a teenager at the time; I protested. I stopped asking for help and simply did the best I could. This resulted in many scars and many hard lessons learnt along the way. However, yesterday I swallowed my pride and did something that I haven’t done in a long time. I asked for help.
In the past three years I had gotten better at relying on others. Accepting their unconditional love, accepting their advice and finally learning to accept help, but accepting help and asking for help are two different matters all together. While it may be easy to accept the help that someone has offered, one of the biggest challenges that I have ever faced is having to ask for help, to say that I need help, to say that I am in need. In our family the words “ do you need a hug” or “would you like a hug” are as frequently asked as “ mom can you lend me some money” and I have now since learned to ask “ can I have a hug” and that is a huge step for me, so imagine how big a step it is when I realized that I needed help in dealing with my brother’s death.
I asked for help and I got help, not only did I receive the help needed “which was spiritual counseling” I also got the courage to realize that I needed more help, that this wasn’t a one-time fix. I realized that I needed to talk to someone not because they can make everything better but because it is good to talk about issues that we are struggling with. It is good to ask for help when we are feeling that we need it. Sometimes we are afraid to seek help because we believe it shows a sign of weakness but I have learned that seeking help doesn’t show weakness that it in fact shows strength. There are many people who have suffered for years, physically and mentally because they refuse to say that they need help and I was once one of those persons not anymore. I am now strong enough to ask for a hug, a shoulder to cry on, or just to sit down and talk. It hasn’t been easy but it has gotten easier. If you need help all you have to do is ask, someone will always be willing to give you a listening ear or point you in the right direction.
Happy Asking For Help Day