The 25th of August has been a symbolic day for me since 2004 and it will continue to be for the rest of my life. My life has never been one of straight paths or clear of a clear future, it has been filled with more twist and turns than I should have been allotted but I have learned huge lessons along those twists and turns that have made me who I am today. In 2004 I came back home to the Bahamas after studying in Jamaica for two years in pursuit of my undergraduate degree. The plan was to work for the summer and then relocate to Canada and continue my degree, and it all happened as planned…. four years later.
August 25th 2004 was the date that I had chosen at random when I issued God an ultimatum…..either He fixed my life and made all my dreams come true as I wished or He and I would have it out. I was upset, I was angry, I as frustrated and I thought that I had reached my breaking point. I chose to attend school in Canada for a number of reasons but my top reason was because I wanted to get as far away from home as possible. I had lost two friends; one was killed in a vehicle accident and the other one was still holding my hand when he took his final breath and though their deaths happened in 1997 and 2001 I still blamed myself and was living a life of fear and guilt.
I wanted to go away and forget everything that was going wrong in my life and I on May 4th 2004 I told God that He had until the 25th of August of that year to fix my life and get me straightened out but it had to be on my terms. As I know look back I think I wanted a genie in a bottle rather than a loving God who knew what was best for me. Even though I had come home to The Bahamas from Jamaica my life was anything but stable. I was living out of my suitcase because my younger sister was given my room “that’s what happens when you move away to college”, my mom had lost a brother that she raised after my grandmother’s death, my dad had lost a sister to a horrible disease ” I wasn’t even aware that my aunt had died until I started to watch some family home movies and realized it was her funeral and my uncle had died while I was in Jamaica and I never got the chance to say goodbye” both deaths had threatened to pull my family apart, even though I was home in The Bahamas I wasn’t really home so I felt like I was stranded on a deserted island and all I knew was that I wanted to get off that island so in addition to Canada, I applied to colleges in countries all over the world such as; France, Trinidad and Tobago, Japan, South Africa and Germany just to name a few. August 25th came and went and God showed me that He was in charge.
Nothing changed that day in 2004, my situation was still the same, I wasn’t employed and I wasn’t in school, it was like the Great Disappointment of 1844 “please google it”, I then made the decision that I could either allow myself to be angry and sad for the rest of my life or I could take every day as it came and make the best of it. The next three years brought depression, anxiety, disappointments and a mental breakdown so severe that my mom threatened to have me committed to a mental institution but I always looked forward to the random date of August 25th as a sign that I should continue with life and continue to trust in God to lead me in the right direction. Today is National Hibiscus Day and a really good friend of mine created a page for the occasion on facebook and people from all over the world posted pictures of the beautiful tropical Hisbiscus flower today. He had no idea how much this date meant to me, even those closest to me don’t know but I have decided to share my story today hoping that it will encourage others who may feel like I once felt. I will be sharing some of my stories from 2004 to 2007 of how I made August 25th my special day.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ” Jeremiah 29:11-12